idk

So I'm just sitting here thinking about people and love and relationships. I just...I don't know how they are supposed to work. I mean I get that people have relationships and then fall in love, but why is love not always enough? Why is it that we feel the need to be insecure in ourselves as soon as we realize we love another person? It's like as soon as we realize that we've fallen in love we lose our self worth...I don't know, maybe it's just me. I just know that if I don't hear from someone within a designated time frame, I worry. I think about all the bad things that could've happen to them, or what I could've said or done to make them not want to talk to me, or that they've suddenly had that epiphany that I'm not as cool as they had initially thought.
Why do people stay in relationships that they know are unhealthy? Why do "we" as humans feel compelled to blame ourselves for things that other people do? The majority of the time we are so self involved that we make decisions without thinking about anyone else. Not realizing that the person that loves us is immediately blaming themselves and their inabilities for what YOU'VE decided. I know that we do this and yet I still think that I'm not enough or I'm weird or that I've done something wrong. I haven't. The rational side of me says "D, you're not weird, you are good enough and you've done nothing wrong. They just don't know where they are at, or why they are saying or doing these things" Yet I don't always listen. I'm constantly caught up in this twisted circle of right and wrong and emotions and reason. That are no-one's fault but my own. I'm trapped in my head thinking all these things that are probably not near the truth.
I literally don't even know if I am making sense. I just...had to write it and see if I could make it make sense to me. All I am saying is that I know a lot of amazing people who aren't appreciated by the people they are with, and they are not with someone that is anywhere near as awesome as they are. Just hurts my heart I guess.

I don't know.

I just know that I'd rather regret things I did do, then regret doing nothing at all.